I just had four weeks off parenting… and it felt… decadent.
It was only meant to be three weeks, which in itself is more than a lot of parents can dream about. But then I came down with the flu upon arrival in Australia. So we decided to add a week to make up for the time I spent in bed.
I slept in. I lay in the sun and read books. I enjoyed spontaneously leaving the house.
It was amazing. There were no tantrums. There was no stress.
It was insane sometimes realising I literally had nothing to do. There were days that I just hung at my parents’ house and walked to the coffee van and went for a dip, and in my downtime I could read a book! Or do a crossword puzzle. Like I said… decadent.
Did I miss my husband and son back home in Austria? Interesting question. In a weird way, I kind of disassociated. I went back in time. I was aware I had this whole other life, but it was so far away, it was perhaps easier to put it out of sight out of mind. I missed them when I called them; when I saw my little boy had had a haircut and looked more grown up. When he asked me where I was and when I was coming home. So, sure, there were pangs of missing, but then I moved on. Perhaps I’m a cold-hearted robot. Or perhaps it’s a coping mechanism I’ve developed because it would not be possible to function here in Austria if I constantly missed my friends and family back in Oz.
For the 1000th time I wished that Australia was a little bit closer to Austria. I wished that I could just hop on a plane and do a weekend trip to visit my parents a few times a year rather than these big jaunts with jet lag and sickness and all that comes with it. Because as much as I enjoyed the sleep ins and luxury of nothingness, I knew I’d be going back to real life.
But it is what it is. Because that’s one thing I can never change – the distance. So, I enjoyed my four weeks off, although I couldn’t quite get rid of the urge to move sharp knives away from the edge of the bench. I’ve returned with a nose I can breathe through for the first time since Sam started daycare. I’ve returned tightly clutching the Australian part of me that I so often seem to lose when I’m in Austria. I’ve had my time and I’m not going to feel guilty about it. Sure, it was decadent, but it’s a good price I pay for moving away from my homeland.
And now I’m back the weather is warming up and it feels good to do the day-to-day. And my kid was reasonably happy to see me, so that’s a plus!
an aussie in austria 