Homesickness… hello? Is anyone there?

Australia brother's weddingAfter returning from my March trip to Australia, I was prepared for the steely-wrath clutch of homesickness. I had attended my brother’s wedding, and with his new bride already knocked up, the whole thing had me weepy and emotional even before I got to Oz!

But wait… where is he? Is he hiding? Is he laying in wait, ready to pounce when I least expect him?

The weekend we returned home, Thomas presented me with an epic hunk of lamb he’d managed to find so we could have a traditional Sunday roast. Cue that and the opening of the second bottle of wine, and I was sure homesickness was going to hit. Yet, he didn’t. Even though Thomas spent the afternoon watching Netflix on the couch and I spent my time listening to music and creating monkey memes, (yes, monkey memes) in a different room, I had an absolute blast of a day.

Lamb roast austria
An epic lamb roast – not so easy to find in Austria

And when the jet lag monster took his pleasure tentacles and pulled me into sleep that evening, still vaguely drunk, homesickness stayed firmly away.

And now, over three months later, I think it’s safe to claim he’s not going to try and destroy me this time. To be fair, there was a period over Easter when I was feeling a bit down, but any celebration/holiday always elicits a bit of sadness, so it was to be expected. What didn’t hit me was the sickening blow as I realised I was leaving all my friends behind (again) and heading into foreignness.

The funny thing was that in a way I was actually looking forward to coming home – in the way that you do sometimes when you’re on holidays: looking forward to events in the upcoming months, looking forward to the weather warming up… hell just looking forward to getting back into a routine and sleeping in my own bed!

Austria hiking
So many great things to look forward to!

And that’s when I realised – it’s happening. I’m becoming more (gulp) comfortable here. And it feels great – and it feels a bit traitorous at the same time.

Yet I think that homesickness, much like my insomnia, is not something that is ever really going to go away. There’s always going to be moments where I suddenly feel like bursting into tears, or feel unjustly angry about the quality of the black tea in Austria. But hopefully now perhaps the worst is over. Perhaps I can manage this too.

Australia will always be my homeland. My friends and family in Australia will always be the ones I long for in times of extreme sadness or happiness. But there’s a special place in my heart for the land and the people I’ve met here in Austria.

Australia beach dog
Australia – I will always love (and miss) you

So I’m in a pretty good headspace right now. To shake it up a bit my brother’s wife is going to have a baby in a month… let’s wait and see if that emotionally flattens me!

2 thoughts on “Homesickness… hello? Is anyone there?

  1. carlyhulls June 25, 2016 / 10:49 am

    I absolutely get this! It’s weird to be waiting to feel awful, ducking and covering only to find actually, I’m fine, and maybe, almost *whisper it* enjoying myself here! For me it’s like entering a different personality space – never quite 100% Aussie anymore, nor will we ever be 100% Austrian, but that’s ok too. So well put, thanks for sharing 🙂

    • debbiekaye1980 July 1, 2016 / 12:35 pm

      Thanks Carly! It’s such a privilege to be able to call two countries home!

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