Damn… what have we gone and done?
After more than a year-long search, and many new discoveries along the way, the inevitable has finally happened – we’ve gone and bought ourselves a house.
I’m quite sure I approached the potential purchase of a house the same way I did my initial job hunting in Austria – despite the fact that I was actively searching, in the back of my mind I somehow never really thought it would happen.
I mean I’m not going to go do it, am I? I’m not going to find an appropriate job that allows me to stay in Austria for an undefined amount of time. And I’m definitely not going to go and buy a house which only roots me deeper and deeper into the country…
Because I’m moving back like… anytime… right?
Cue time to freak out.
Because it’s not like we bought some flashy pad I can try and pass off as a potential investment. We bought a genuine, bona-fide, 170m² monster house, with enough room for as many dogs/children as we want. This is a long-term project that will require a lot of planning, renovations, DIY and hours and hours of gardening.
We’re going to have to buy a snow shovel.
So there I was, in the days before we got the official word, desperately hoping that the house would be ours, and at the same time a small voice was stammering in the back of my mind… but… but… but.
Because the thing is, every time I take a big new step, or even a little one, two things happen: first of all it makes me feel more comfortable and at home in this strange land… second of all it scares the hell out of me! And those two emotions push and pull like Dr Doolittle’s fabled Pushmepullyou.
But damn I’m excited! I can’t wait to see the kitchen being installed, I can’t wait to plant pumpkins in the garden, I can’t wait to sit on the balcony and not have to listen to the chatter of other people on nearby balconies and I can’t wait to make friends with the dog next door – so many things.
And there’s the small voice again… but… but… but.
But I’m going to be ok.
I’m going to acknowledge the small voice but I’m not going to let it take over too much. And if it does get louder and I do have a small freak out… well then that’s ok. Because buying a house is a big decision in anyone’s life, let alone in another country.
But… maybe I should watch the Notebook tonight anyway… just to be safe. It can’t hurt to pre-cry some emotion out.