When to tell…

Dinner in Australia

When to reveal to the outside world that you’re pregnant is always a hot topic. Before it happened to me, I’d always considered myself pretty pro about telling people I was pregnant early on… my close family and friends, at least. While I understand the reasons not to, in the event a miscarriage, which happens far more than most realise, I don’t think it’s something I could deal with without my besties.

But strangely, when I did finally get pregnant, for a long time I didn’t want to tell anyone.

I think it was partly self-protection. At 40+ and pregnant for the first time, I was in no way convinced the thing would stick. That might sound crass, but the stats speak for themselves. I didn’t want to get my hopes up by thinking about it too much. I didn’t want to let excitement run over. I wasn’t ready.

Part of me also hadn’t come to terms with it, and while I understood that talking about it would help with that aspect, I also had to be ready to do that. If I told people, they would want to talk about it. They would ask me how I was feeling, and if I thought it was a girl or a boy, and if I had any unusual cravings. I told hubby he could tell whoever he felt he needed to, because his emotional needs could be different to mine, but by no means were they allowed to talk to me about it. He felt the same, though, and therefore the secret remained so.

And I have to say it was nice… being in a bubble… just hubby and me. We talked about it often, obviously, but we also held it away from ourselves. Covid made it easier – we were in lockdown for quite a bit of the first 3 months – and being able to flex my workday meant that if I felt tired or sick I could take time out when necessary.

We finally revealed it to family and close friends around Christmas, after the 12 week mark. It was a good festive time to announce something, and there was also only so long I could make excuses for not drinking alcohol before suspicions flared.

In the end, I think what it comes down to is personal choice. What’s right for you. Whatever that may be.

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