If I’m not maternal now… I guess I’m never going to be

I don’t come from a large family. I was never exposed to lots of kids when I was younger. I don’t much like them, as I’ve already explained.

I wondered if my view would change when I got pregnant. If I would suddenly be overcome with the ‘miracle growing inside me’. Yeah… sorry, but ew. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful because I know there are many women the world over struggling with infertility and that makes me one of the lucky ones. But I can’t deny that I personally don’t love the idea that there’s something growing inside me I was never under any illusions about what being pregnant would be like, and I always figured it was unlikely that I was going to suddenly become enthralled by tiny clothes or drooling kids. I see a dog, I grin from ear to ear, I see a child, and I cross the street!

Continue reading

So… I actually don’t really like babies

I have a confession. Babies freak me out. They’re small, and all-knowing and annoying in the way they can’t take care of themselves.

I’m also not completely comfortable with pregnant women. I see them out and about, trundling around with a huge bump in front of them… carrying a living creature! Growing one! They do it like they have no care in the world. Like it’s a completely normal thing. Which, let’s be honest, it is.

So the news that I’m pregnant might come as a bit of a surprise. I’m currently one of those freaky women walking around with a bump, with a freaky living creature inside me, that will turn into an actual squealing, unable to look after itself, baby.

And this was no accident. I actively made this happen.

Continue reading